Topic: How To Catch Your Cheating Spouse (
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by Tracy on 3/30
I have been married for 6 years.
My husband likes to drink, He would go out with co-workers quite a bit. Our relationship was rocky for the past year based on recent promotions he had received through out the year and the stress it caused, leading to a lot more drinking from him. I was also pregnant with our 3rd child - now 8 weeks old. I now have 3 kids, 3 and under - more stress.
I had quit work in October to stay home with the children - more stress for him. There was a night that my husband came home at 5:30 am. I of course locked the house up tight, knowing that he did not have his key with him. He got back into his car and left, claiming to have slept on the side of the road. Why not in the driveway??.
He was going back to her house, which I did not know at the time. I let him back in at 7:30 am. When he came home, I called one of the co-workers he was out with that night and just asked if he knew where my husband was, that he never came home, although he was a sleep on the couch.
He mentioned that the other co-worker (her) they were with drove him back to his car. I never would have suspected anything were going on except the time he was out until, I smelled his clothing and could smell something different than his smell - it was a womans smell.
He denied anything took place, just that he had to much to drink and slept in his car and he was extremly angry at me for locking him out and making accusations.
I tried to arouse him to see if he could "get it up" and I was pushed away and told that I was crazy.
I was 9 months pregnant at the time. I let it pass. The second incident came when our newborn was 6 weeks old. He had a work event and was going to spend the night, again because of drinking.
He was 10 min. away, but was not coming home. When he came home that morning around 5:30 he fell asleep next to me. He got up at 9:00 to shower and get to work, extremely late for him, so he must have been up late. I noticed a slight scratch on his back and mentioned it to him, asked where it came from. He did not know. Once he left, I inspected his clothing from the night before.
Same smell as before, also, there was a "spot" on his underwear.
I never recovered his t-shirt that he wore under his dress shirt, he must have left that behind.
When he arrived home that evening, I took his underwear and questioned him about the "spot".
All denial.
I then told him I was going to have it sent to a local laboratory for analysis, male or female?
He then came clean.
I finally backed him into a corner.
I was relentless.
I know I probably sound a little over the top and crazy for what I have done but I had a gut feeling.
I am a true believer that if you feel something isn't right, then something probably is not right.
Do everything in your power to find out. As I had mentioned, our marriage had been rough for a while.
He was never home and when he was, all he would do is get on his computer and work. That was a good indicator, that he didn't want to be around me. Since all of this came out, we have been trying to work this out and it has been very difficult.
He works with her. I have spoken with her on a few occassions, I do not know why. I guess to let her know that I am his wife and I am not going anywhere.
Our conversations were not angry.
Very much a matter of fact. It has been one month since the truth came out and I hope I can overcome my anxiety and anger.
I have my ups and downs and my husband and I are getting along much better than were did over the past year. I am hoping that we can be one of the couples that comes out stronger in the end.
(Reply)
by Woody on 12/29
statistics show that about 37 percent of married men cheat on their wives and 20 percent of married women have comitted adultery.
And yet, more than 50% of all spouses are victims of adultery, which means that one spouse in most marriages will suffer the greatest marital pain possible at some time during their lifetimes.
(Reply)
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